Coming Out On Top
Sean
Sitting here the day before the final elimination, my head is running wild with thoughts, questions, and a whole lot of wishing I could get a hug from my best friend, my mom, and my boyfriend. For the longest time in this competition, I've started to lose confidence, not so much in myself, but in my ability to win this thing. I kept telling Nikki to win it for me, win it instead of Erik, but I remember a time back in the Gladstone (man that feels so long ago), where I told myself that if I'm not going to win, I'm going to beat Erik. Here I stand at the cross roads between both of those things, winning...and beating Erik.
I can continue to sit here and doubt myself, beat myself up, let all those people who've doubted me from the minute I opened my mouth in this world...win, or, I can decide that it's my time to shine. I came all this way, and I've come all this way to start doubting myself? I don't think so. We make choices in this lifetime, I'm proud of all of mine, be they right or wrong...I made them. I don't regret what got me here and I certainly don't regret anything in this lifetime. However, I feel I may have made a mistake in doubting myself along the way. There's only two days left until I go home...is it too late to have come to this revelation? Absolutely not! If you've always got time for Tim Hortons...then you've definitely got time to believe in yourself.
I'm going to come out on top in this situation. I have what it takes to be an amazing VJ, but more importantly, I have what it takes to survive in this lifetime. No matter how much I've doubted, and lacked confidence in this game...it was all due to the lack of control. I fully have no control of whether I win or lose at this point...I've given it my all and done my best to rock this bitch. Here's hoping. I believe that I have what it takes. There's no such thing as too little too late. I'm here. WATCH OUT!
Curt - I only hope I've made you proud.I can't wait to see you.
Andrea - You told me how proud you are. I'm doing this for you.
Mom and Dad - I'm sorry for anything I've ever said out of anger. I love you both. Your little boy is going to make something of himself yet. Thank you for everything.
To everyone else - Thank you for your support. Thank you for your friendship. And most importantly, thanks for believing in me every time I felt I couldn't.
***Sean
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